Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured
her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on
the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon which activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Idiot # 3
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.